Sometimes I wonder why I survived my battle with 3b cervical cancer when no one else seems to. It confuses me, makes me sad and even angry.
As many of you know one of the reasons I started my blog was to connect with other survivors like myself. While I was sick I searched and searched for other young 3b cervical cancer survivors, but found none. The ones I did find had lost their battles, leaving me alone in my fight. Dana Farber has a program where they match similar people fighting cancer the same types of cancer, they found no one for me.
Through my search I found an amazing woman in California battling 3b cervical cancer. We spoke and emailed back and forth. Finally I found someone like me, someone who I could really connect with, who knew exactly what I went through.
Today I received an email from her husband informing me that she lost her battle. So, here I am again, a lone survivor searching.
Rest in peace Carrie and know that you were loved by many.
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17 comments:
I'm so sorry for your loss. You're a strong survivor and you're meant to keep spreading your story and be an inspiration for others. I can't imagine what you're feeling, but know you are supported!
Meaghan, A fellow support group ovarian cancer survivor is dying right now.
The chemo wasn't working. She went to a clinical trial study. It wasn't working and making her miserable.
She decided to "listen" to her body and not fight the fight anymore.
The fight wasn't working.
I have visited her three times since she stopped treatment.
It makes me so sad how debilitating this disease can make people.
What do you say to a person who is dying?
You just love them and for me? Make them smile or laugh.
I know that is what I would want.
I think you survived as proof that cancer doesn't always have to be synonymous with death.
Sometimes people die of it, but sometimes people live!
I am sorry for your loss. Death is a very complicated and difficult event to deal with on any level.
{hug}
Oh man I am sorry to hear about your friend. That is so sad.
*** BIG HUGS ***
I am so sorry for your loss but I am glad that you have survived. I lost my mom almost three years ago to breast cancer and sometimes oddly enough I get the same feelings that you talked about in the beginning of your post. Why does everyone else seem to survive and I lost my mom? Thanks for sharing this post and I will be thinking of you and praying for peace for the family.
Loss is so hard, especially when you relate so intimately with what she was facing --
You survived so you could help others survive... Sometimes our purpose seems so hard, but it's worth the fight when you watch others succeed thanks to your insight...
I'm so sorry...
So sad. My heart goes out to you and all those who have had a battle to fight.
I have just found your blog and am amazed and inspired by you! I am currently fighting lymphoma and am on my second round of chemo.
You are in my daily prayers as you continue to find your place in Gods plan for you.
Blessings!
I'm so sorry. Really I am just at a loss for words. I was paired up with a supporter and have lost contact with her but I cannot imagine how discouraging it would have been if she had lost her battle. I think it means there is a reason you made it. There is something you are meant to do and maybe it's this...maybe we both have a reason. Now if someone else is diagnosed like you, when they search for someone who knows what they are going through they will find you and you'll give them hope. Hope is a precious thing.
I am saddened by your loss. You and her family are in my thoughts. There is no rhyme or reason why some of us survive cancer and others don't.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a crappy disease. Sometimes you can only survive for as long as your body will let you survive it.
But I've said it before and I'll say it again CANCER SUCKS!
Oh, kiddo...you're not alone. You have so many more people to connect with. Your search is FAR from over. : )
Be strong.
Share your story.
Pass the word.
I'm sorry for your loss. Stay strong and keep positive!
I am so sorry.
xoxo
I'm so sorry. {{{HUGS}}} I can understand your feelings but I just have to say that I am SO glad that you are a survivor:)
Hi Meaghan,
I have been following your blog for a few months now. I am 44, and was diagnosed with stage 3 cervical cancer this past July. I am undergoing chemo now and seem to be responding well, and am optimistic about my future. I have not had nearly the obstacles that you have had, but have learned a lot from you, so thank you for sharing so much of your life. Reading your survival story has given me much hope.
One of my best friends is a Stage 3 survivor of almost 6 years. Stay strong!
I myself was diagnosed with stage 3 cervical cacer back in january. I keep looking for survivors but its not easy. I am still going through treatment and never thought this would happen to me. I'm 24 and I had regular pap smears.
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