And Life Goes On


Here I am two years out from being diagnosed with cervical cancer and I'm alive and well. This is a hard time of year for me as everything reminds me of being sick. I think a lot about where I was and what I was doing, or what was being done to me, two years ago right now. But, what I should be doing is thinking about what I have done and accomplished in these past two years.

I went back to and finished law school. Amazing, if I do say so myself. While I was doing it I tried not to think about it too much, just kept pushing forward. I say this because I want to be honest about how I did it and let you all know you can do it too. There is nothing "amazing" about me individually but there is something amazing inside us all. You have what it takes no matter how scared you are or unsure, its there. I was scared, unsure, angry, sick etc....but I wouldn't let any of that get in my way, I was going to live a normal life and be all the things I wanted before cancer.

I just took the Florida Bar. This was more scary than anything else. It called for lots of work, long hours, being able to remember lots of information and perform under extreme stress. This was my personal nemesis. Having had chemo, radiation and general anesthesia(every 3 months) I wasn't sure if it was possible for me to do all those things. Let me stress that I am not saying the bar intimidated me because it was the bar, it was because of what changes have happened "to" me. BUT, I did it and if you want to you can too. I thought cancer would "handicap" me but it did just the opposite, it gave me strength, courage and fight! I tackled that bar just like I tackled cancer and no matter the outcome I made it through. Its an honor just to say I took the bar and if I pass, well thats just a bonus.

I am preparing for a pretty important surgery. The day after my 31 birthday I will be having surgery, March 30 for those of you who don't know my birthday. This surgery they will be taking out my stents. I was told, not long ago, that this was never going to be possible. Let me point out that there is no guarantee that this will work. To be honest I am pretty scared. As some of you may know I had a surgery last year where they took out only 1 stent. As a result I got very sick for about 8 months, so needless to say im pretty scared. If this works it will improve my life so much! If it doesn't then we are going to start working on having my kidney removed. I'm hopefull because I need to start living a "normal" life. I want to be able to go for a run, not be super tired all the time and not have to plan my life around constant surgeries. I'm ready for this.

So these are the things that I have been doing, me a cancer survivor. I often wondered, as I laid my a hospital bed, what would my life be like after the cancer. Well now I know and its a good life. Cancer has changed me in many ways but in just as many ways I am the same woman with the same dreams, fears and joys. You will get your life back, trust me!

16 comments:

Quirkyloon said...

Yes, it is a good life after cancer...most of the time *smile*

Good luck on your stent removal.

And many congratulations to you for taking the bar exam. I hope you will be pleased with your results. ;)

Michelle said...

Its so good to see you happy! This surgery will pass just like the others, don't stress just yet.

Preppy 101 said...

Fabulous Post from a fabulous person! Congrats on everything! Good luck with the surgery - fingers crossed for you ;-) xoxo

Juliana said...

YAY for cancer survivors!! WOO HOO! Yes and you know miracles can happen---I have seen it personally. Many of my cancer survivor friends have all had kids this past year...including me:)

Hope your surgery goes well!

Rene said...

Meaghan,

Wonderful post! This is a great post to share with my husband. He is getting ready for his bone marrow transplant and he's really scared and not sure what the future holds. It really inspires him when he hears about other cancer survivors.

Thanks for sharing!!

Rene

Sandi said...

As you've said to me once, it's like something I could have written! You going back and taking the bar reminds me of how I am going right back to school. I put my application in to the college of nursing. I'll be an oncology nurse some day. I too become afraid of the changes my body has made. I am more tired these days I think than I used to be. I think I may just mentally be more worried about over doing it. I have a CAT scan and an ECHO on the 24th. I am hoping those tests will give me the peace of mind that I really desperately need just so I can stop worrying about it coming back all the time. Congrats on taking the bar. Good luck with that surgery. I know it's scary. The what ifs always are...but you're in my prayers. Be strong!! As you always are. :)

Somewhere In Between said...

I'm so happy for you! Good luck with your surgery (and have a WONDERFUL birthday!) :)

Eudae-Mamia said...

You have come so far. Just think of all the places you are going to go!!

Can't wait to hear the good Bar results. Em

sassy stephanie said...

Great post Meaghan. So true.

My hubs just finished chemo and starts 17 days of radiation on Monday. It amazes me how much this whole experience has changed us. For the better I believe. It was a hard road that was very rough at times, but I've never believed more in the statement 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger'.

Good luck with the surgery. I will keep you in my prayers!

ms. changes pants while driving said...

YAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

congrats on taking the bar. doing the bar? taking the bar.

congrats on two years of LIFE!

happy BIRTHDAY! but not yet :D

good luck with the surgery. sending good thoughts your way for that.

Racn4acure said...

That is all so true Meaghan. there is plenty of life after cancer. You are not letting a bad break keep you down, you are going out and living your life. This is wonderful and you are an inspiration to others. Keep on keeping on. I hope that your upcoming surgery is a rousing success. Celebrate your big 3-1! Art

Jenn M said...

I don't know you but I'm glad that you are getting to the other side of cancer.

Good luck with your surgery!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Your accomplishments ARE amazing, no doubt about it! I am so proud of you and wish you all the best.

Grand Pooba said...

You are an amazing woman! Congrats on finally taking the bar! I bet that is a huge relief! Hang in there woman!

Sara Williams said...

What you have done is amazing!

Post diagnosis: my life has been zapped. I had planned a number of races this year: Farndon 10K, BUPA Manchester 10K in aid of National Autistic Society, Race For Life 5K in aid of Cancer research, a half marathon followed by Snowdonia Marathon in 2010. I swam 2-3 times a week, had my own business as a mobile dog groomer, member of weight watchers and my weight loss was doing great. ALL GONE.... for now, I will do them again once my treatment is through.

However; things I HAVE done because of my diagnosis. Read, loads and loads of books, made my own blog (never thought I would do that) got on face book, made loads of new friends and I will be doing more...... watch this space

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