Okay I told myself no blogging while studying for the bar but I can't help myself....I need to give an update because a lot is happening. First, there is a great song that I want to share with you all. Kate Nash and its called MADE OF BRICKS. I know many many people listen to songs and when they connect the words and message to themselves, often to their relationships. Well, ever since my cancer I connect songs to my cancer. Probably not making a ton of sense but what I am trying to say is that when I hear this song I feel like its a message to my cancer. Just check it out and let me know what you all think.
The Bar exam is next Tuesday and Wednesday and then the following week I have the MPRE. After that I am opening a bottle of champagne and celebrating. This past year has been full of so much celebration for me, its been exciting. However, it makes me hesitant. Its like im almost afraid that just around the corner the bad news will show its ugly head. I haven't enjoyed my life in a while and I have to be honest, I'm afraid of being happy. I just don't want it to be taken away but I guess thats life, right??
Next month the doctors are going to try to take out my stents. I'm not very opptamistic about it. Not because im afraid of bad news and the such its just we have tried something like this before. It didn't work last time and it led to many dark, painful months. This is the first time in such a long time I have been pain free. Many of you know that I had cancer but it was much more than that. I had constant pain for about 2 years. Pain so bad that I had to be on pain patches, diloted fentanol etc...Then these last 5 months I have been virtually pain free and its been wonderful. BUT, as my doc pointed out I am still not living a quality life. So we are trying again. If it doesn't work this time they will get me ready to have the kidney removed.
Anyway that is a short summary of what has been going on with me. Mostly studying all day every day(12-13 hours a day). This will be over and like my pas Art left in his comment, not the hardest test ive had to take in the last couple of years. We cancer Fighters and Survivors are Warriors!!! We can do ANYTHING!
Ill be back soon!