Yes its true many days I experience at least an hour of anxiety, sadness and fear. Most times I push through my "cancer" anxieties but there is always one point in the day when the big C stops me in my tracks. Yes I beat cancer but what people don't understand is that Cancer is always a part of who I am now. If I were to say, "im over it, I beat it and now its over" that would be a big fat lie!
Stupid commercials usually bring out my fears, thanks a lot ABC, NBC and CBS...you too Lifetime! Who would have thought Tampon commercials would make me shed a tear of regret and loss. Oh and then there's the Boniva commercial about bone loss, thats a real tear jerker! Lets not forget those whimsical commercials with the pipe people who can't hold their bladders, yup that one too. These commercials remind me of how I am different from the rest of the healthy, happy thirty something women out there. Those commercials are either directed at me or are things that no longer apply to me. I can never escape the constant reminders that I HAD CANCER.
Wow...it still shocks me! I never imagined that I would get CANCER. That I would be unable to have children. That I would miss my stupid period. That I would have bone loss problems at age 30. That I would wear diapers. That I would need bladder control medication. But I guess thats the way life goes, you never know!