Valentines Day 2007


The worst valentines day of my life.

I will never forget Valentines Day 2007. It was a Wednesday and possibly one of the most painful days of my life. This was the day that the doctors decided to put in the stints. As I have mentioned before my tumor crushed my ureters because I went misdiagnosed for such a long time. Ureter’s connect the kidney to the bladder and allows the fluid to go from the kidney to the bladder. Because my tumor crushed my ureter none of the fluid in the kidney was allowed to pass to my bladder. This meant all the fluid backed up in my kidneys causing hydronephrosis, swelling of the kidneys. My left kidney did more than just swell, it ripped open.

The kidney heals itself so that is why the nephrostomy tubes were placed. My fluid from my kidney was re-directed to the bags instead of my bladder so that my kidney could heal. The doctors also needed to place stints in the ureters that were damaged by the tumor. If the stints were not placed the damage would only get worse with scar tissue and eventually close completely. If I ever wanted to live without bags collecting my waste the stints needed to be placed.

The stints hadn’t been placed right away because there were so many issues that needed to be dealt with first. It so happened that Valentines day 2007 was the first day they felt I would be able to undergo this procedure. Before I went under I distinctly remember one of my doctors say, “Happy Valentines Day Meaghan”. That is the last thing I remember before slipping off into a drug induced sleep.

Holly-Mother-Of-God!! That is what I remember when I woke up. All I could do was scream the pain was so horrific. If I close my eyes I can still see the poor man across from me in the recovery room. He was eating one of those hospital sandwiches in a box. There I was directly across from him on my hands and knees screaming bloody murder! My blood pressure went up to 200/150, my machines were beeping out of control and I was half dressed screaming.

What happened you might ask? Well apparently there was a slight chance my body would react poorly to the stints. The radiation, the damage from being misdiagnosed and the stints all combined to create a painful reaction. I have never been pain free since. Those stints remain and will indefinitely. The pain they create also remains and varies in degree. There are times, days/weeks/months, where the pain is as bad as that moment when I woke up. There are other times when the pain is much less or only slightly tolerable. What I can tell you is that there isn’t one minute that goes by that I am not conscious of the pain.

Valentines day 2007 is a day I will never forget. Sometimes I think about before I had cancer and the many Valentine’s days I complained about. I was single, my boyfriend didn’t get me what I wanted, my date didn’t go well etc…I can’t tell you how many times I had said, “This Valentines Day sucked” Little did I know those days were perfectly fine. Too many people spend too much time complaining about things that aren’t so bad. So next Valentines Day when you find yourself unsatisfied just think, at least im not getting stints as my Valentines Day present.

6 comments:

Author Patricia Pickett said...

OMG!! yOU JUST MADE ME CRY..i DIDN'T HAVE THE SAME THING HAPPEN BUT i REMEMBER SCREAMING IN MAJOR PAIN AFTER THE DOCTORS CAUTERIZED ME FOR LIKE SIX HOURS AND IN THE INTENSIVE CARE UNIT ALL i COULD DO WAS LIE THERE AND CRY..AN OLDER BLACK WOPMAN TURNED TO ME AND SAID "hONEY, i'M GONNA PRAY FOR YOU" IT WAS THE MOST COMFORTING THING i'D HEARD SINCE THEY TOLD ME i HAD CANCER.

Shirl said...

You know what!!!?? YOU have the right to complain and BITCH! It makes me feel so stupid for Bitching about my problems. My Dad passed 4 years ago from Melanoma and he never complained! I dont know how he did it. He was the toughest man I know or will ever meet. I am here if you want to talk or "Bitch!" Seriously!

Obsessedwithlife said...

It is amazing how much our lives change in a blink...hoping your pain gets better. Now that I have access to all these pain resources on this pain council, let me know if you need anything :) or check out the APF's website- painfoundation.org

Rach

Claudia said...

DAMN! while reading ur blog i just though: how are you doing this? how are you still smiling that beautiful smile? where do u find your strengh to go through all that?
gosh, girl..you are amazing and i cant thank you enough for POSTING all that in here!!
i never really wanted to ASK a person with cervical cancer what exactly the docs do to her..but since i know you..i am thankful u added me!
since my motherlanguage is german, i sometimes have a hard time following all the english medical things..but are explaining it in a way i can understand everything and i am thankful for that!

you are a GREAT GIRL!!!!
keep ur spirit up, please!
*HUUUGS*

Anonymous said...

My dear Meaghan I could never have imagined what you have gone through... I am sending you a big hug my dear cousin... you are my hero. Everytime I think about how my life sucks I will remember your stories. Thank you for sharing your journey... I love you! Michelle

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