Friday I had my three month pelvic/PAP exam with the wonderful Dr. Berkowitz. He is the best doctor ever, he saved my life. I have so much love for him I could never put it into words. I am sure the many survivors who read this know how I feel because they feel the same way about the doctors who saved their lives. We fought hard but we know that we owe our lives to these men and women who worked hard to make sure we lived and beat the ugly beast named CANCER.
My appointment went well. I hadn't been feeling well the last couple of weeks and was concerned it was menopause. However, early last week I spiked a fever of 103. I don't really know what to expect from menapause but I know it doesn't usually give you a fever. Its very confusing being a survivor. Its hard to tell what is just being a regular person with a fever, side effects from treatments or signs that the cancer has returned. But when I got to my appointment i was feeling well and had no fever.
The Ativan may have had something to do with my feeling pretty good. Dr. B and I talked a bit before the PAP & Pelvic exam. I expressed my concerns about menapause. While I was taking drugs to relax me I still was brought to tears during our conversation. It felt strange hearing my voice asking a doctor about menapause. This is so far from what I expected my life would be like at age 30. I am completely aware of what is going to happen to me and what things are no longer options but it still stops me in my tracks every time! Dr. B talked to me very openly, honestly and kindly. He explained that I wasn't going to go through menopause I was going through it now. That I could take hormones but I didn't have to. That by not taking hormones I could have bone problems but that they could test for that. He explained that menopause would not cause a drop in my sex drive and that it shouldn't cause extreme hot flashes or mood swings. But, if I found those things did happen I could always start taking the hormones. As usual he made me feel much better!
He did the PAP and Pelvic exam and told me things looked good. No biopsy was needed and I could take a deep breath until the next three month exam. He also told me that in March I would start seeing them every six months instead of the three. This is a great thing to hear. I also gave a urine sample due to the high fever last week. Hopefully that is clear because I need to have my surgery on Monday.
Now all I have left is Mondays surgery. I so look forward to the day i hear I don't need those anymore. At this point I either have to have surgery every three months indefinitely or have the kidney removed. If I had it my way they would be removing the kidney Monday. I am so over the surgeries and ready to get on with my life.
So far so good. Had a little "incident" on the car ride to the Cape but besides that I am wonderful. There was terrible traffic and we couldn't get off the highway and I have very bad bladder control, you put that together and figure out what happened. No big deal though, use to it by now. The Cape is great, as usual. The Woods are kind, funny and just great to be around. The weather is a little yucky but its nice to be in cool weather.
This will probably be my last post for a couple days. I have to be at the hospital at 6 am for surgery on Monday. Hope everyone is having a great weekend and feeling well.