What Not to say to a Cancer Survivor


"You are not the same person you were before you had cancer"....Well no shit! How could I be? The change is difficult for everyone. For the family, friends and the survivor. But, just because the cancer is gone doesn't mean everything is just as it was before. Do I wish this never happened to me? Yes! Do I wish I could take it all back? Yes! Am I sad and sorry for what I have had to put everyone through? You bet! But I have no control over the past and I try desperately to create a better future.

If you know someone who is a survivor give them time to heal. The cancerous cells may be gone but the physical and emotional damage runs deep! Survivors need support more than anything else. Chemo, radiation, medications, stress have and still do create drastic changes in a person physical and emotional self. I am not saying let that person get away with murder or treat you poorly but just try to be kind, gentle and understanding. I can't say how every survivor feels, because I know it is different for everyone, but I can tell you how I feel. I miss my old self, barely even remember her. I hate how dependent I am on others, how much stress my illness and recovery causes. I wish I could be like every other thirty year old worrying about having kids, getting married or starting a new job. But I am not like every other 30 year old and that is something I must accept every day. I need help though and I am not too proud to admit that. I need support, a kind word and patience. And thank you to everyone who has helped me and to those people who support other survivors! Cancer can leave a person feeling terribly lonely even when they are surrounded by people!