The Subject of Having Children

I am a member of NCCC(National Cervical Cancer Coalition). On this site you can read survivor stories and post your responses or personal stories. Lately woman have been talking about not being able to have children. This is a subject that was difficult for me at first but that has changed. I can never have children as a result of my cancer. At this point in my life I do not know if I want children but I do know that if I decide to bring a child into my life adoption is my option. However, knowing what I know now if I could have my own children I would still adopt. Here is what I posted on NCCC:

I too can never have children due to my cancer. At age 28 I was diagnosed with Stage 3B Cervical Cancer. I had Chemo, radiation and internal radiation as well as surgeries. I was given no choice and told that there wasn't even time to save eggs in an effort to try to have a surrogate later in life. Now I am 30 and going through menapause. About two months after finding out I could never have children my younger sister got pregnant. This was a hard time for me. Now I am actually happy I cannot have children. This is a subject I have thought about a lot. What I know is that there are thousands of children in the world who are not loved. Now I have an opportunity to make a difference in the world and in a persons life, what an amazing gift. I often wonder if being afflicted with cancer happened so that I could bring love into a child's life. I do not need to see my eyes or hair or facial expressions in a baby that came from me. I think it is so much more important to care for those lost children out there who have never heard I love you or been read a story before bed. There are too many children without a good home and if I can help just one of them then all my suffering through cancer was worth it! So, to those women out there who can never have "their own biological child" don't waste too much time feeling bad about it. Your child is out there and waiting for you to take him or her home! Sometimes we are given gifts in packages we don't recognize. I believe Cancer was a gift and instead of looking at the negative I chose to look at the great things that do and will come into my life as a result of it.


Kristena said...

I just read all your blogs yesterday and it took a day for me to respond because since finding out I had cancer in May your blogs were the first time I really felt like someone understood what I was going through and that was very emotional for me. Now my story isn't anywhere close to the trama you experienced but I could really relate to the feelings you described having and how my feelings of despair and anger and overwhelming saddness I feel sometimes are normal. My cancer is gone but it is taking a lot longer to heal emotionally. Thank you for helping me realize I am not alone.

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