After my horrible flying experience I arrived at
Soon after being admitted to Dana Farber I started chemo, radiation and had surgery. The doctors put in nephrostamy tubes so that my kidney could heal. I was manic at this point. Talking for hours and hours until my voice was totally gone. While being hospitalized for cancer was scary it was a lot less scary then sitting at home not knowing what was wrong with me. My father stayed with me the entire time, slept in a chair by my bed for weeks. This experience opened my eyes to who cared and how much. I was lucky to have family and friends that stood by me.
The scariest moment in my life happened during the first weeks at Dana Farber. I remember the moment happened like it was yesterday. Dr. Berkowitz looked at me with his kind eyes and said, “You always have hope”. Hope, the scariest word I have ever heard. Most people don’t think of hope as being a bad thing but instead a beautiful word. Not me. Hope meant that I could die. Hope, coming from a doctor’s mouth meant they were going to do everything they could but that might not be enough. I already knew I had cancer, that my kidney was ruptured, that I was going to have chemo but it wasn’t until my doctor told me I had hope that I became scared!