I have had a lot of readers send me emails saying they are concerned about their sex drive after cervical cancer treatments. While this was a concern of mine I haven't felt it has been a big problem, yet. However, it is something that concerns me and I have very little idea what the future brings in this area. We, as cancer patients, are required to undergo extreme treatments. Doctors literally bring us to the brink of death in an effort to free us from cancers tight grip.
Well do I have some good news for both the ladies and men! I came across an article, Sexual satisfaction, not just about biology The article is based on a new study of cervical cancer survivors. The survivors all underwent surgical intervention and 80% of them reported to have a healthy and active sex life. I know this is an important topic and one that many people want to know more about. Read the article and let me know your thoughts!
Sexual satisfaction, not just about biology
Having read this article, I find it interesting. But also, from my own experience, obvious.
ReplyDeleteBeing 21 when I started menopause, I was on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) within 6 months of my total, radical hysterectomy. BUT! It was incorrect dosage, incorrect method of obtaining estrogen, and no testosterone.
My sex life suffered a lot. I used to be sexual, and me and my boyfriend would start to have sex and then the mood would just go away, it was very frustrating. Sex is still very painful, but that's what lube is for.
I have found an excellent doctor who specializes in HRT. I started taking testosterone about 7 or 8 months ago.
Women need to know that testosterone plays a HUGE role in sexual interest as well as energy levels.
The worst part of HRT is expense and inconvenience, fortunately, it is worth the hassle.
Testosterone is not an easy hormone to use. You have to use it in a cream form, and you have to be careful not to make a mess with it so that you don't contaminate everything around you. It is not cheap, and sometimes insurance doesn't cover it.
I became very very competitive and my flawless skin is no longer flawless. But it's worth it, I'm as horny now as I used to be, the mood doesn't leave me anymore, and sometimes I am too much for my man to handle!!! Ha! *I win*
So, yeah back to the article. It's important, for women especially, to have a psychological connection, security if you will, in order to have a fulfilling sexual relationship. If you are lacking the confidence, security, and connection that you would normally have before going through cancer, it is going to be hard to have a great sex life after.
If nothing has changed in your life besides having cancer (which changes your whole life), and you're feeling run-down, nonsexual, and all the rest, you should ask your GYN to test your estrogen and testosterone levels. It's easy, I did mine from home, just spit in a vial and mail it.
The message I feel we should take from this is: If you can't count on your body to keep you going, you need to be able to have faith in your partner to help do it for you.
I work with relationship research, pertaining to emotions, and even non-cancer survivors have very big problems in the bedroom. It is not just the cancer that does it to us, it's our minds.
Having cancer strips your confidence, makes you vulnerable, taxes your body, changes you in ways unimaginable, scars you inside, and out! Don't let it steal your sex life too!
My motto is: Take control, knowledge is power! And I will never let life be just about surviving, because there is so much more to life than just surviving!
Lynz:
ReplyDeletegreat comment thank you so much! You def. provided me with a lot to think about. this is a subject I have yet to really take on. You are always so insightful and it is greatly appreciated!!
xoxo
Meaghan
For me, PERSONALLY, it wasn't about having the "right mood" or "feeling it"..... it was that I couldn't let go of the memories of the incredible amount of pain that I had experienced in that region from radiation. I'm talking about the memories of the weeks of blisters burns. Both internally and externally. My husband and I would start intimacy and just as we were getting to the point of intercourse my mind would sabotage me by all of the sudden vividly reminding me of all the pain for weeks I experienced that most times not even dosages of morphine would stop the degree of pain. And every time it happened - it embrassed me that I just couldn't "let it go". After months of this, I had to go into therapy, otherwise I honestly knew I'd never find a way to get past this and I desperately wanted to. For myself more then for just my intimacy with my husband.
ReplyDeleteIn therapy I learned that I hadn't mourned my losses from what my hysterectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation had brought in my life. I had just had a baby. They found the cervical cancer when I was five months pregnant with him. I went my whole pregnancy unable to enjoy most of it because of the constant lingering reminder of the cancer I'd have to face immediately after the birth. The baby was born in September. By December I was prepped for by hysterectomy. By Febuary I was on my way to months of chemo and radiation. I didn't get to mourn the loss of spending time with my newborn, my body being in my control, the stress of chemo and radiation, and finally... the physical pain.
I enjoy a great sex life now after a short time in therapy. But sometimes the effects can be psychological about the physical experienced pain also. And sometimes those are the hardest to get thru even with therapy.
Anyways - just wanted to give my two cents worth.
I really appreciate you sharing your story. I know this is a tough subject but because it is not many women share. That leaves so many other women wondering if they are the only ones. I had the vaginal blisters and I literally felt like I was the only one this was happening to! We need to share this so that other women know how to deal with these same struggles that are so intimate.
ReplyDeleteI had a lot to mourn. 28 and unable to have children, the pain, the losses its all a lot and its something we need to face everyday.
Im so happy other women are writing and sharing such painful personal experiences!
THANK YOU!
xoxo
Meaghan